Stella tells all: A cold windy day
It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, I’ve been super lazy but my life has been hectic, or should I say hictic, haha… So long story short, at the end of last year/start of this year due to a number of reasons (that I could explain but it might be getting a little personal) my life had been turned totally upside down. I was suffering from stress, anxiety, depression, I couldn’t sleep at night, I wasn’t eating properly, and I couldn’t even think straight. I was completely mentally, physically and spiritually EXHAUSTED, and that’s not a good thing after just recovering from three years of chronic fatigue syndrome.
I was so over the weekly breakdowns, I decided I wasn’t going to put up with it. I quit my job and bought a one way ticket to nz (hence my life being hictic instead of hectic) with no plan, no friends, and not a huge amount of money. I said my goodbyes and told everyone I was just going to nz for a two month break (but I didn’t really intend on coming back) I had nothing to hold me back but at the same time I had no idea what I was doing. I really did have nothing to live for but I couldn’t contain my extreme determination to experience my newfound perspective on life.
Usually when people move out of home for the first time it’s down the road or to a bigger city. But I thought why not change it up and move to another country? This was my first time overseas, 5th time on a plane and first time on a plane by myself. I was the first person in my family to go overseas, so I had absolutely no idea about travelling and neither did my parents. When I think about it now I realise how crazy this all sounded, well at least to a country girl from Toowoomba.
So here I am now living in Auckland, it was the best decision I have ever made. I’ve had the time to let my body recover, I sleep normally at night, I eat and at regular and normal times of the day. I can think straight and remember things and I’ve learnt how to deal with stress, anxiety and depression. I feel like a human being again, for the first time in 5 years and it’s AMAZING.
But in saying that it’s still hard, I miss my family and friends back in Australia so much, and although I’m meeting new people I do find it hard to make new friends because I’m quite shy to start off with. I’m in the process of finding a job and deciding what I want to do with my life. I really want to study but I can’t decide, there’s just so many things I want to do…
So anyway, here’s to a new start, my new start. We’ll see where I end up.
and don’t forget…
…This is an adventure.